Orb Weaver

She had taken down her web by morning.
 
I awoke from kissing your mouth over and over. I was afraid
you would turn away but you leaned in sweetly
my body soft and you were mine,
we were us
another moment. Waking
 
without you, suddenly,
I gather myself for the day
reeling back threads of silky dreams
that somehow led to your face
in my hands, that somehow found
you in the wide night, unraveling
my bound and wounded heart.
 
Leaving, aching, by the door I look to the place
– it had spanned magnificently
from the overhang to a folded chair –
where the orb weaver had crafted her web
the evening before; the air was just crispening
with a hint of coming autumn – solitary –
and she at the ready, sitting proudly
and fatly in the very center:
imposing, hairy legs
and the visage of a wrinkled someone
etched onto her abdomen.
Hello grandmother, I would say,
thank you for your designs.
 
Now she too: gone,
with the first blush of today.
 
 
~ laura dev 2016 ~

a sending

again the womb
yawns like a black hole, a longing
ancient & arcane as gravity
for ever holding these pieces together
a spiral dance around This:
eternal emptiness
This: long inhalation
that draws all things
into it, toward now
the dissolution of time

yes, I would take you in
Here:
deep & quiet & still
the inmost axis
i could never reach with out
your everness with in
the pool of a fathomless well
you, some how
enter & contain me
close enough to infinity: full
in this place where I meets You
we rest on the tenuous edge between
every thing & no thing

Here
in the truest sense of here
is from where I call to you
a primal and sudden sound
at once prayer and karmic exhale
becoming
the winds of creation
being
every star
past & future
come you
arcing outwards all ways
like a flock of birds
sent forth in the dawning
birthed, released & summoned home
with that single breath of song.

~laura dev 2014

beltane blessing

love finds shelter in soft, fertile bodies
takes root, brings us to gather
in union ~ goddess and god, earth and sky, yin and yang,
you and i. small creatures,
we bask in the wild fullness
of life, blooming open all around
and inside us, the quickening of spring.
bless this land with ten thousand seeds
all the light of days
and sweet clear waters ~
milk of mother
streaming in and out and over and over.
we take warmth in each other
breathing song into the hearts of birds
beckoning fruit to ripen
enticing new life to this good earth.

 

~laura dev 2014~

of duality ~ to the other

at times i forget the steps
of the dance we began at the beginning. please
forgive me for all ways of not being
as you will
for being
alive
slippery beyond restraint.

for give your self creation
for ever give your self up
again

we have all sprung from this perfect garden
grown ripe and bursting
some to consume and some to return.
tame your judgment and feast of it
release the beast of your heart
to devour what it may

for it is so
and we are just so:
utterly full
we look upon each other.

i see you
sometimes seeing me
wishing i was otherwise.
i am often wise
but it has taken all my years
and still each exhale
to wear this face so boldly.
i have stopped trying
to be other than what arises
bubbles unbidden from the deep.
watch the storm of my eyes,
brace your doubt
against this grace.
be
hold all of me.
be whole.

may we honor each other as gods.

you are all ways
already forgiven
for never
are you not me,
this living and breathing.
we share air and ages and a wild, unruly love
that nips into our skin
where we pull apart
the great pain of the world
only denial that we are all—
cares and cages, seeds and wombs,
stricken giants and tiny buds
blooming at the kiss of sun.
please forgive me for not
knowing all this as myself
even my cloak of fear
and stubborn insistence
that i am not you:
constant, strong, here.

can you spare a blessing to accept me
and all this madness,
crawl inside me and look out these eyes?
i take you in and know myself.

seize my soft body and run
fly me to every edge of existence
the tip of the tip
to reach the center of it all.
feel me sink my flesh into the teeth
of earthly pleasure, its grime and lushness
grip me completely
not to keep me, but for joy
of shredding me across time
i, soul of all forms, joining rain to become river,
dirt to become fruit to become
you:
formless, still, weightless,
never not here inside
me: shelter
as you dissolve all things
rebuild the world
remind me who i am.

 

~laura dev 2013~

return

pale petals softer than lips
summon moisture from bare air
clear globes form, grow, run together, reform.
kindred spirits, flower and dew
how they tenderly capture and hold the light
meet for a fleeting caress
and return to the earth.

i’ve been calling to the moon since i first knew myself a woman
unwilling to turn from its cold empty glare
its heavy draw
inspiring, for such a dark naked thing to be so luminous

yet i am still learning to breathe
to fill myself until i feel
my womb flooded with the night sky:
vast, black, enough gravity to pull me inside-out
to the deep seething center of creation.

surely within me lies the entire ribbon of time
surging forth forever like a serpent
from the true beginning:
a singularity sucking and again swelling, overflowing

inhale: sink to the source of it all
exhale: lap on the shores of the present.

each moment rests tenuously in the body
as if my form were the very teeth of time
and awareness the forked tongue,
guiding and savoring the breath.

 

~laura dev 2013~

a memory

the bones of me can’t forget
to be strong without apology
skeleton, rest easy with that power.

heart empty and
body so full of love
to open my throat in full roar
would shake fear from the world–
a flimsy fortress crumbling in a cool torrent of clarity.
civilization, what evidence have you left?

still, silence sits gravely in my mouth.
when did i learn shame?
yes, women, we carry it
deep in the posture passed down from our mothers.
muscles wrap my bones in cords of it
to tame the boundless nature teeming in me
as if all this strength was needed
just to hold the weight of my head,
bowed with memory.

i remember

they used to honor our unbridled hearts
with offerings of beauty and bounty—
crowns of flowers,
crystals, songs, honey, fruit–
we would laugh
and love them all freely, infinitely,
as we loved ourselves and so all things.
when nurtured, abundance wells from within

which happened first–
the hunger for more
or fear
of the scarcity of love?

skeleton, rattle me out of this skin,
who clothed me in this disguise and why
do they clutch at this?
there is nothing to be taken.

speak, tongue;
dance, limbs;
naked, i will heal these hearts.

 

~laura dev 2013~

awakening

i.

without time
i am not my self

i am first the rain penetrating the soil
and into leaky walls

in time we are all blind

hurtling through stark passages
there is the feeling of breaking,
and not without fear,
as if to split forth from the seed
into an unknowable beginning:
a tender head,
then two leaves unfurling
to stand shaken in the sun.

ii.

we emerged out of parched earth
to look upon each other in this fragile state.

love leapt unexpectedly into my body.

morning licked at my cracked sense of time
and I gathered myself
from dark edges of the long night.

we both came seeking wholeness.

empty. unguarded. pure.
we stepped into each other with such absence
of resistance I felt no threshold,
only knew by the echo:
my small voice as if in a great hall;
the sound i strained for through the night
suddenly clear.

iii.

i cannot contain a love this fluid and lonesome.
weightless, it fills in my empty spaces like light
and again grows, bursts me apart:
i have hardly been so formless
to become the breeze and the breathing
lowly ruffling the water’s surface
and whispering soft words to warm ears.

will the winter keep me as such?
cold air draws fog from the ocean.
these hills are at their finest
draped moistly

with mist: sitting fatly among sodden branches
and shivering birds.

still yourself.
calm limbs collect dewy songs like blades
of grass in the morning,
calm hearts
catch heavy things that condense out of the night.
we all take on form sometimes.
were we sleeping?

i found myself
perched so gently and deeply within you
you feared to stir
but to breathe:
I felt the expansion
as the hot wind rolled in,
and woke upon a cool exhale

into the fresh hollows
you left.

return and awaken in me.
arrive
outside of time,
whole.

 

~laura dev 2012~

ouroboros

love is the lightest thing there is
so soft and spacious
i grow as if to float away
and the entire world rushes in
to join me.
we are it
it is me
and i pour through myself,
bathe the outgoing tide,
and swell anew with lightness
that it may return.

 

~laura dev 2012~

elixir

I draw forth the sweetest nectar
with simple breath,
the bellows for invoking sensation,
as if the very inhalation of its offering
coaxes the universe to blossom
more deeply before me.
upon bearing witness
I am the blooming:
petals gently curl,
peel back layer by layer,
reveal the sticky, potent essence
within.

does the act of savoring
invite sweetness?

 

~laura dev 2012~